


A Dim Light of Hope

by Starbuck09256



Category: The X-Files
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-09-18
Updated: 2020-09-18
Packaged: 2021-03-07 17:55:04
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,507
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/26531707
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Starbuck09256/pseuds/Starbuck09256
Summary: post demons ep
Relationships: Fox Mulder/Dana Scully
Comments: 2
Kudos: 18





	A Dim Light of Hope

Post Demons Ep

It’s mostly a blur. The journey with her arms around him holding him up through a line of bright police lights and cars. He smells her conditioner, as he struggles to put one foot in front of the other. She is tiny under his heavy arm, and he knows that she is having trouble just keeping him up as she walks them to her car. The darkness around them penetrated with silent sirens of despair. She pulls open the passenger door. Struggles to push him in as a cop comes up to her. She holds out her hand, she knows they need a statement. She knows she should take him directly to the hospital. He crumbles in the seat, his upper body folding against itself with the open door and her voice whispering in the wind around him. She reaches down and touches his face and strokes it in that lovely concerned way she does.   
“Mulder?” his eyes reach hers and he sees what he has put her through. 

His partner, the dark circles under her eyes, the hollowness of her cheeks from weight loss. He sees what the last several days have done to her. Seen what the last few months as she has fought for her life against a disease attacking her beautiful soul. He knows he is a selfish bastard, he takes this reckless act to try and find answers to save her and himself. Knowing that it might have claimed him in the process. But if it had at least he wouldn’t have to face her demise. He wouldn’t have to be there in the hospital when she takes her last breath, he wouldn’t have to stand at her grave with a pathetic bouquet of her favorite flowers, knowing that his soul was buried under 6 feet of dirt and grass. He wouldn’t have to come into an office and slam his fist against a door that should have had her name and a desk that was more than hers. He wouldn’t regret every single second he didn’t tell her exactly how much she had come to mean to him. He pulls her slender fingers from his face and wraps them in his as he brings her knuckles to his lips. 

“I’m sorry.” and god is he. She licks her lips and bites down nodding as she pulls her hand from his and closes the door. 

He leans back against the seat he can still feel the weight of when she laid against his back in that dark room as he fought against his demons. He watches as she talks briefly to another agent. The one who wanted to blame him for everything. She is quick and moves around the car to the front seat. He watches as her whole body folds into the chair. She moves a little slower now. He hadn’t really noticed the strain of the last few days on her skin. She puts the keys in the ignition flicking it over as it hums to life against him. Even this engine has more life in it than the two of them together. She goes to shift and stops looking at him with watery eyes but says nothing. He can’t help but let his face fall against the seat as he watches her. She shallows and shifts backing up slowly through a maze of police tape and cars. He thinks she will take him straight to the hospital. To finally get those tests and prove that he is not ok. He is never ok without her, no test is going to show her that but it is certainly how he feels. 

His mind slows as she navigates them to the hotel. When she finally cuts the engine and grips the steering wheel, he turns to her. Tears stream down her face and she doesn’t bother to hide them like before. She rubs them away and opens the door moving to his side. His door opens and the whiff of air chills his clammy skin. She braces to help him up, and he is glad as he struggles slightly into her arms. She carries them forward to the one room they have. For this wasn’t an investigation they sought out, this was him, trying to save her and himself in a reckless attempt. Because that is what you do when the world is falling apart. When you see that everything you didn’t bother to cherish is going to be lost to you in a matter of months. When she finally gets them inside and deposits him onto the soft bed he looks at her. Look at her small frame shuttered under a heavy coat. He sees her hair slightly mused, her makeup smudge ever so slightly from her earlier tears. 

“How could you do this to me?” so soft and so full of raw pain. He doesn’t know, well he does, but can he admit it? Can he tell her that he is so afraid of losing her that he has to go first. That he wants to save her so badly that any cost to him is irrelevant in the grand scheme of things? 

Before he knows what to say he moves to envelop her in his arms, tears lingering on his eyelids.

“I can’t bear it,” he mutters against her silky hair. 

She shutters in his arms. Looking up at him as he kisses her hair. 

“You would be so selfish as to let me die alone Mulder? Really?” he feels the intense pain of her words cutting through him in one deep stroke. His forehead pressed against hers. 

“Scully, I.. am such an asshole.” she gives him that sad chuckle pulling back to look at him. 

“We don’t have time left for this Mulder. We don’t have time for reckless behavior.” 

Her sad smile and sniffle spur him on. They don’t have time, not nearly enough, even if she wasn’t dying. Even if they met 10 years earlier, no amount of time would be enough with her. He needs infinity. He needs to bask in her shadow for centuries, unlocking pieces of her mind, while he memorizes her soul. He leans down and kisses her, tentatively and then with all the passion he can muster. Lifting her up into his arms as he sits down on the bed placing her in his lap so he can enjoy a slightly less height difference. The kisses are deep, long and he can barely gasp for air before he demands more of her lips and damnit she gives in to him. Lets her nails scratch the nape of his neck. Lets his hands smooth across her back. God she is so fucking thin. When she pulls back and presses her hands against his chest he stares at her begging her with his eyes to not overthink this. To not try and decipher his motives. She moves getting off his lap crossing her arms across her chest to hug herself. He wants to be the one doing that. He grabs her back pulling her into his arms as he stands and he kisses her again, gently, not demanding more than she can give because she has already given everything she has and he knows it, believes it to his core. 

“We shouldn’t.. Not because of.. “ she doesn’t like to say it. Likes to live in a land where months mean years, but now they are in weeks and it feels like seconds. 

“I can’t bear losing you Scully and I know you may not believe in everything, but believe me when I say this. I’m not sure I can take losing you, not… not after everything.” 

Her sadness is suffocating. She nods, because she knows. His truth, his questions, she must face that her mortality will be the end of the questions and the search because even if he found his sister, it wouldn’t take the place that she has taken up in his heart because he has the same place in hers. They have encompassed each other in a way neither intended but with a conviction stronger than the people they protect. She sighs against his lips and lets her fingers run against his forehead. 

“I love you Scully.” she hears the pain in the truth of it.

”I know… and I’m so scared, Mulder.” 

She falls against his chest tears cascading down her cheeks soaking his shirt as he helps them fold down to the ground, stroking her back until he can kiss her cheeks. 

“We can still fight, we are still holding up, and it… it isn’t over yet Scully. Please don’t give up just yet on me, on us.” She sniffles and kisses his lips lightly. 

“I’ve never given up on you Mulder and I certainly believe in us.” she smiles at him. He nods, accepts the forgiveness she is offering. Later when she sleeps in his arms he sees the darkness coming for him, but there is a dim light too, one of hope.


End file.
